07-38A Man’s Ruin:  Succubaean Rules for Playing Perdition

IT IS RECOMMENDED TO WAIT UNTIL 07-38B IS PUBLISHED; THEN QUICKLY SKIM THROUGH THIS.  WHEN YOU READ 07-39B YOU CAN LEAVE 07-38A OPEN FOR REFERENCE IN ANOTHER BROWSER WINDOW.

Hong explains the Succubaean Rules of Perdition to Esmeray and her jawari as follows:

BASIC RULES

• Deck—Uses the Chthonic Tarot, aka The Infernal Tarot.  For playing (not divining) purposes, it is essentially a standard Tarot deck with 3 changes:
  • Face cards reordered to put women on top (KingsQueensCavaliersJacks to QKJC);
  • More regular cards (8 standard suits instead of 4);
  • Renumbering and renaming:  pip cards shifted by 1, from 1-10 to 0-9; face cards renamed QPharaoh, KHuángdì, JSultanah, and CRajah; and trump card numbering changed from base-10 (decimal) to base-6 (senary).

Only suits and ranks are relevant to play.  As in the Sixteenth Century, Pharaohs are high and naughts are low.  “The Bouts” are 3 special trump cards:  the Fool, I, and SSSIII. 

• Object—Win each trick, hand, and game.  Pharaohs and Bouts 4 points; Huángdìs 3 points; Sultanahs 2 points; Rajahs and each trick won, 1 point; other cards 0.
• Teams—2 to 8 (or more if you can find the cards), comprised of one player (mandatory) and their lovers (optional).  The teams agree ahead-of-time whose consent is required to bind their team.
• Lodge—Team members must be present (“resident”) in the lodge (a physical space, not a banker).  No one else is allowed inside, and no one can enter or leave during the game.
• Duration—The game starts once the number of deals is agreed, and lasts until all stakes have been delivered and everyone is sober (unless all teams agree to stop earlier)
• Caste—Every resident is equal in the game, except only humans can shuffle, cut, or deal; it is bad form for high-caste residents to stake lower-caste teammates disproportionately
• Stakes—Each team must agree on new stakes binding through the end of the game, before each deal.  Stakes binding every team alike are encouraged, but each team need only agree to stakes that put at least one of their members at risk from at least one other team.   Teams encouraged but not required to lay stakes each deal that are dependent on a per-trick, per-deal, and per-game basis
• First Deal
  • The dealer and starter determined separately and randomly; player to left of starter cuts. Dealer deals out all cards with remainder to the starter, who can discard and replace any from her hand except she cannot discard the Pharaohs or Bouts.
  • Starter places a suit card on the table. No one can lead a Triumph card until one has been played.
  • Each player (moving counterclockwise) must follow with one card of that suit.  Highest card of the lead suit wins
  • Players who cannot follow suit and have a Triumph, must play a Triumph.  Whenever a Triumph is played, the highest Triumph always takes the trick.
  • Players who cannot follow suit or play a Trump must play a throwaway card
  • Trick winner keeps the cards face-down and leads the next trick.  Trick losers deliver stakes.
  • Teams tally their scores; deal losers deliver their stakes.
• Successive Deals—Teams agree on modifications to the basic rules.  Modifications are strongly encouraged every turn.  The deal and the start separately move counter-clockwise to the next eligible human and player, respectively.

CHANNAH’S FAVORITE RULE MODIFICATIONS AND VARIANTS

Players are encouraged to modify rules in as disruptive and confusing a pattern as possible to force the maximum number of player errors.

• Dragon King—Once this variant is agreed upon, the starter of each deal (starting immediately) can unilaterally change and add rules at the beginning of each deal.
• Queen Channah—Once this variant is agreed upon, the starter of each deal (starting immediately) can unilaterally add per-trick, per-deal, and per-game stakes and stakes at the beginning of each deal, if and only if the stakes apply to each resident equally and all residents can fully discharge their stakes before leaving the lodge without suffering an injury greater than normal wear and tear; e.g., nicks and bruises are okay but not much more, and the maximum amount of money at stake cannot be greater than the amount held inside the lodge by the resident with the least money.
• Playing the Fool—The Fool can be played once.  It cannot win a trick, but the playing team keeps it and its points; except if that team wins no tricks, the points go to the trick winner.
  • The Excuse—When playing the Fool, the player must make an excuse for their behavior before letting go of the card, or it goes to the trick winner
  • Use Me or Lose Me—If the Fool is played in any of the last three rounds, the winner of the trick gets the points for it.
• Avenging Angel—Judgment SSSII takes World SSSIII
• The Joker—10 point bonus if the Magician takes the last hand.
• See Something Say Something—Special per-event stakes are agreed for every time a resident misses a cue, is slow to respond to a cue, or responds in error.  Teams are encouraged to require a different language for each verbal response.  Suggestions:
  • Royal Stooge—Whenever an off-suit face card is played on a Pharaoh or Huángdì of the lead suit, everyone except the off-suit-card-player shouts “Treason!”
  • Laughing Boy—When the Rajah of Diamonds is played (or otherwise becomes visible), everyone has to laugh heartily.
  • Fuck the Pope—Whenever IIIII-The High Priest is played, before the player releases it, either that player or one of their lovers (but only one person) must mutter a barely-discernable curse or disparagement of a specific religious leader.
  • Johnny Sausage—If any player tries to play I-Magician, and another player can be the first to shout “Johnny Sausage!” (or “Gimmee Hanswurst!”) before the card is positioned and the player has released it, the shouter captures the Magician and the right to play it without interference later in the same hand, and the person losing the Magician has to play a different card instead.  The shouter gets the points for it.
  • Hail Channah—Before letting go of their card, anyone playing the Pharaoh of Hearts or the Pharaoh of Spades has to recite lengthy sycophantic praise for, or pine graphically and at length for, the Queen of Lust, e.g., “Hail Channah, the baddest bitch of them all, Hell lies at your perfect feet.  Cursed art thou among demons, and cursed is the foul medlar of thy womb, Lust.  Unholy Channah, Queen of Hell, chastise all men for their lust, now and after their deaths.”  Players are encouraged to prohibit reusing sycophantic phrasing.
• French Scoring—Each player’s score is adjusted based on the number of Bouts they have at the end of the deal.  Where Z = the number of players in the game, players with 0 Bouts subtract 4+Z from their final score; players with 1 Bout subtract (4+Z)/2; players with 2 add (4+Z)/2; and players with all 3 add 4+Z.
• Fitty Piece—Whenever a player plays an off-suit (throwaway) card, any or all of their own lover(s) may (but need not) call “gimmee fitty bitch!”  Without affecting any other stakes or teams, i.e., in addition to the normal operation of the game, the team forfeits the game, but each “Judas” wins triple the trick and game stakes riding on that trick, from the player, regardless of whether that player agreed to all the riding stakes or not.
• Repent at Leisure—Any resident who catches another player staring at them or any of their team mates (except if they are watching a player who is actively taking their turn) may require the starer to disclose what—other than the game—was foremost in their mind at that moment, and then prescribe a 2-5 word phrase describing their thought(s) every time they play for the rest of the game.
  • Pretty Please—If the thought involves another resident, the player (called a “beggar”) has to ask that resident to help them every time they say it.  The resident is under no obligation to agree, but if they do, the beggar cannot refuse their help, with any reasonable accommodation they request.
• Jeannerie—Pip-card order remains unchanged for the phallic suits (Wands, Clubs, Spades, Swords = PHSR9876543210 or QKJC1098765432A), but changes for the distaff suits (Cups, Hearts, Diamonds, Coins = PS0123456789RH or QJA2345678910CK).
• Secret Admirer—In any game with 5+3x players the starter may name the Pharaohs of 1+x suits before seeing the leftover cards.  Any person holding a named Pharaoh becomes the secret partner of the starter (meaning no one can signal to any member of any other team, whether they are or are not partners, except by what their card plays reveal).
  • Palace Intrigue—Combine Secret Admirer with Fitty Piece.
  • Berserker—If the starter names only Pharaohs already in her own hand, she gets triple points for winning that deal.
• Succubaean Wedding—Before the first card is played, a player holding the Pharaoh and Huángdì of Hearts/Spades may show them to the other players and declare a sweet/spicy marriage.  Each marriage adds 5 times the number of players to its holder’s score.
  • Queen of Spades—When a team with a spicy marriage plays their Pharaoh, the first team to (legally) play any Rajah on top of her wins that trick and the points for the spicy marriage.  For the rest of the game, the rank order of all the phallic suits (Wands, Clubs, Spades, Swords) changes to RPS0123456789H (or CQJA2345678910K).  Point values do not change.
    • Helmet QoS—As Queen of Spades, but any player with at least two distaff (Cups, Hearts, Diamonds, Coins) Pharaohs still in their hand and/or in their pile of tricks may slap a Rajah placed on top of a married Pharaoh and shout “Helmet!” or “Respect!”, then show their Pharaohs to the other players.  The first player to do this wins the trick and the spicy marriage points instead of the Rajah player.  For the rest of the game, the rank order of all phallic suits (Wands, Clubs, Spades, Swords) changes to PS0123456789RH (or QJA2345678910CK).
  • Cuck the King—Same as Queen of Spades, except that playing any Rajah, the Devil, or the Sun on top of either married Pharaoh transfers the points for their marriage and that trick; and for the remaining deals, marriage points are replaced by cuckoldress points for holding a Pharaoh of Hearts or Spades.
    • Helmet CtK—As Cuck the King, but any player with at least two distaff (Cups, Hearts, Diamonds, Coins) Pharaohs in their hand and/or in their pile of tricks may slap a Rajah, Devil, or Sun placed on top of a married Pharaoh and shout “Helmet!” or “Respect!”, then show their Pharaohs to the other players.  The first player to do this wins the trick and the spicy marriage points instead of the Rajah player.  For the rest of the game, the rank order of all phallic suits (Wands, Clubs, Spades, Swords) changes to PS0123456789RH (or QJA2345678910CK).
  • JollyRajah—Same as Succubaean Wedding, except that it is players with Pharaoh-Rajah combinations in Hearts and Spades who can earn points for declaring sweet and spicy marriages; and the rank order of all regular suits is PRS012345678H (or QCJA2345678910K).  Rajahs earn 3 points and Huángdìs earn 1.
• Húanglóng’s Inguinal Hernia—The following wild cards have the following powers:

*aka Pharaoh-beaters (Pharaonentecher)                                    

Literature Section “07-38A Man’s Ruin:  Succubaean Rules for Playing Perdition”—more material available at TheRemainderman.com—Part 38 of Chapter Seven, “Channah’s Slavegirls:  Pawns of the Court of Lust”—1995 words—Accompanying Images:  2197-2199, 2228-2229, 2233—Published 2025-09-08—©2025 The Remainderman.  This is a work of fiction, not a book of suggestions.  It’s filled with fantasies, stupid choices, evil, harm, danger, death, mythical creatures, idiots, and criminals. Don’t try, believe, or imitate them or any of it.